My comment after the post on What Jesus do you serve?

I can say that I live for Jesus Christ the Son of the Living God that the Word speaks of. Before my conversion two years ago I can say that I lived for many of the "false jesus'." I had a jesus for everything that made ME happy. I had a jesus that went with the flow so to speak. One that never made me feel guilty or that I was doing wrong. I am so thankful the Lord had mercy on me and revealed Himself to me powerfully through His chastening and correcting. It was through that my eyes were opened and I saw the TRUE Jesus. He loved me that much to correct me. He could have let me continue to live the way I was, full of religion. I was so fake. I was so vain. It really boiled down to worship of SELF. The true Jesus that never sinned, that hates it. Jesus that is Holy and calls us to be holy too. No excuses saying, He was perfect and I am not. It isn't about that. It is about being obedient and if He says do it, do it! He won't tell us something we can't do. We are to work on it daily to look more like Him. The One whose blood was shed for me visited me in a powerful way. I am so thankful for His mercies that triumph over judgment. It was after I felt the total separation from Him and darkness that is tangible. I could feel the darkness and as though I was hanging over hell. A fear gripped me that is hard to describe. I knew then I was damned. I was lost. None of my "religion" or "good works" were speaking to me at that point. I KNEW I was lost. I remember sitting on Diane's couch at a ladies Bible study and the pressence of God was so strong. All I could do was whisper the words, "I'm not saved". This coming from a "Pastor's wife" who was leading a Church. I responded with repentance. I changed the way I thought. I went a step further since I was in an elder position to go to those that I hurt and ask forgiveness. I made right what I did wrong. I was to be above reproach and I wasn't. I was supposed to live in the world but not be of it. I was so worldly and carnal, but I was good at masking it. As I walked out repentance, HE spoke to me and said "not guilty". I knew then that my sins were forgiven and the JUDGE said I was right with Him. Now I live for the REAL Jesus Christ. The One that gave us the Word to live by and use as the standard of our life. TRUTH! He is the WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIFE. THAT is the Jesus I serve now. I destroyed all the other jesus'...the ones that were lying to me and were false. Do they try and resurrect to tempt me, YES! Do I allow it, NO! I have to DAILY take up my Cross and follow HIM. The Cross is not a one time event. We have to revisit it a lot since we are subject to vanity every day living in this world. What is sad, is people can't hide what jesus they serve. Yet, they say they love Jesus with all their heart. Our lives show who we serve. One day when we stand before HIM, he will either say depart from me I never KNEW you, or enter in. We better judge ourselves daily and if need be visit the Cross and die to our desires/will. I know I will. We better not think the Cross is a one time event in our lives. We better not sell Jesus out for all the other jesus'. We better walk in the Truth of the Word and not by opinion. I for one will not back down when it comes to Truth. I may become an outcast to friends and family but I will not compromise in order to have those things. Hey, that may even come across to "some" as self righteous. You are welcome to your opinion, but I have the battle scares where I had to kill self and lay down my will in order to take up His will. I know the war that takes place and yet I have overcome because of obedience to Him. He tells me when I am wrong and when I need to visit the Cross. How? I know His voice, I read His Word (daily, not when I feel like it), I subject myself to His Body and the Light of fellowship (it's my life, not a once a week thing) and I listen to His prophets (not the false ones, but the ones that live the Word and their words line up with the Word). So I have the right to speak the Truth in love and be transparent.